It is fascinating how life can change in a matter of seconds. This past Sunday, I decided to take my eight-year-old son for a much needed, way overdue haircut. The weather was nice, and all he wanted to do was ride his scooter. The couch, snacks, and reruns of Bravo shows were calling my name. I pushed through and made a responsible, adult-like choice that I was proud of: I will take the kid for a damn haircut.
We hopped in the car and like always, put on our tunes. Lately, he has been digging “Wolves” by Selena Gomez. Having the same music taste as my kids makes our road trips a little easier. About a mile and a half from our house, we were riding through a green light at a busy intersection and I noticed a car coming at us, on my side. All I remember is screaming “OH MY GOD” over and over and thinking this person is going to freaking hit us! He was going through a red light and it was inevitable that we were going to crash. I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could and prepared for impact. My son was seated behind me in his booster. He saw it coming and started crying. He knew, too.
In my 22 years of driving, I have been in fender benders & ran over some curbs. Who hasn’t? Luckily, I never had the experience of being in a major accident. I have a love/hate relationship with driving. Cruising to Target with good music and the windows down on a Saturday afternoon is enjoyable to me. Four-lane highways with a speed limit of 65+…now that is another story. I am not a fan of driving on major roads. I will if I absolutely HAVE TO, but a lot of the times I get panic attacks. It started in college and hasn’t really improved. It sucks.
So, we crashed, almost like slow motion. It was loud and surreal. The front driver’s side/door of my Nissan Pathfinder took the brunt of the impact. I honestly don’t even know what the guy was driving. I must have blocked it out. Their airbags deployed, mine didn’t. I was in shock and my son was crying/screaming. We were shaking. The rest is a blur with police, firetrucks, tow trucks, etc. I truly believe that my car saved us. It held up like a tank.
The rest of the afternoon was spent back on my couch, hugging my family and crying. If I hit the brakes a few seconds too late, or if we were going faster, that car would have slammed into our side. One, or both of us could have been seriously injured or killed. The what ifs and replaying of different scenarios in my head are just overwhelming me, not even 48 hours since the accident. The crash keeps replaying in my head. I have a rental car that I don’t feel like driving. My fear of being behind the wheel is multiplied, and honestly, I have no desire to be in any sort of vehicle, driving or not.
I suffer from anxiety in general, so maybe that is why I am having such a hard time with this. Looking at the big picture, we were lucky. I will take soreness and aches & dealing with insurance over what could have happened. We will never know why the guy ran the red light (he admitted it at the scene and there were witnesses). Was he texting? On the phone? Just not paying damn attention? I need to learn how to get over it and move on, which I will work on in the upcoming days/weeks/months.
Until then, I will be thankful that my son and I are still alive. I will not take life for granted. On the road, I will be even more mindful. For anyone reading this…please be aware of your surroundings when you are driving. Remind your family and friends. You could be heading to the barber with your child one second, and before you know it, everything can change. My son still hasn’t gotten his haircut, by the way. I am thinking his dad will take him this time.
LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!