The thought of having too many events on my calendar makes me so anxious. Like, I seriously have issues with it. My family & friends know this about me, and respect that I need my downtime. Well….most of them do. Human interaction hangovers are a real thing in my world. It’s not that I am anti-social all of the time. When in the mood, you can’t shut me up. I am fun! I am in sales. I can turn it on, but I can also turn it off completely. Going into social-distancing, I was upset. But deep down, I was kind of relieved to have some time to just BE. No parties. No sports practices. No rushing to work….rushing to the gym. NO MORE RUSHING.
Fast forward to Day 18. I miss my daily Nitro Cold brew. I miss my humans. Coffee talk in the morning with my co-workers is time to laugh, but also time to vent about life. A mini therapy session, if you will. I miss seeing my friends and their kids. I don’t think I have ever gone this long without hanging out with parents. Facetime, Zoom, and HouseParty are life savers right now. I am counting down the days until I can see all of the people I love again. Unfortunately, there is not an end date in sight & it is making my anxiety worse.
I feel scared, especially when reading about younger people dying from this horrible virus. Then I see the news, telling us the death rate is lower than they originally thought. But not everyone who has it is getting tested, so the numbers could be inaccurate. Wear masks. Don’t wear masks. Order take-out to support small businesses. But be careful to sanitize everything. Stand 6 feet apart. Go to the hospital to get tested if you have symptoms. Don’t go to the hospital unless you are really ill. I want to completely shut down and get off of social media and the news…but I won’t. It’s all just too much and I don’t know what to believe anymore.
There are good days and bad days. Ups and downs. The rain, cold, and dreary weather need to seriously STOP. I think once the sun comes out and it warms up outside, we will be in a much better place. My almost 7 year old just ran upstairs and slammed the door. She is bored. She wants to play with her friends. I can’t even be mad at her…these poor kids are basically prisoners. I have a pit in my stomach right now & I don’t know why. Maybe it is because I have a feeling that the kids won’t be going back to school this year. It could be because there is no end date in sight. I am worried about all of the small businesses in my town, that worked so hard to make where we live what it is today. Work is tough, especially with kids. I feel better when I ride the Peloton, but unfortunately, I can’t sit on the freaking bike all day.
There are a million house projects we could do, but it’s just impossible. I printed out some coloring pages to do. I have been on social media a shit ton. I baked a few times, but the more I bake, the more I eat. The more I eat, the more weight I gain. Oh. And the cocktails. I am taking a break until Friday….I figure it’s not a good idea for my 5-foot self to eat and drink all day and night. My doc probably thinks so too. At this point, we just need to take it day by day and deal with our ups and downs, and soon enough, we will be back in the real world. I hope.
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