Summer: 12 Reasons Why I’m Stressed AF

Isn’t the summer supposed to be enjoyable?  Isn’t it supposed to be CARE FREE?  Shouldn’t we be lounging poolside sipping umbrella drinks while reading our favorite books?  Perhaps a few naps would be fabulous, too.  Hahahhahahaha,  silly billies!  We are moms!  The complete opposite happens in the summer!  Didn’t you know?  There is no lounging and there certainly is no such thing as reading (without being interrupted every 2 minutes)!!!!  I have been thinking a lot lately of all of the things in the summer-time that stress me out.  There are a lot of things to worry about.  As you probably know, it is not easy for me to relax.  Please read and let me know if you agree.  What am I missing?

1.  TICKS
   These little shits have been around for as long as I can remember.  With all of the talk about Lyme Disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, I am more paranoid than ever.  Quite a few friends have found ticks on their kids and it is not even July yet. My kids have to be annoyed at the number of times I have been checking them.
2. SUNBURN
   Lucky me.  My kids have fair skin, just like their mom.  Through the years I have had some nasty sunburns, so I do my best to make sure that they are constantly covered up with sunscreen.  Whenever we are outside I am constantly applying/re-applying the stuff.  If my kids are at camp/daycare/with friends, I also have to trust that whoever is in charge will do the same.
3. BEES
   I am knocking on wood as I type.  Bees are unnerving and even more so when you are not sure if your child is allergic to them.  Both of my kids LOVE to run around barefoot in the summer, so thoughts of bee-stings on tiny feet keep me on edge.
4. WATER
   Pools, oceans, water parks.  Drowning is a common fear for all parents.  Now, we have to worry about dry drowning.  I have heard of it before, but it has been all over the news lately and I just really never want my kids near water again.
5. LICE
   It goes around the schools every so often.  Every single time I see one of the kids itching I go into immediate panic mode and start looking for traces of these annoying, stubborn creatures.
6. STRANGERS
   My neighborhood is safe.  It is comforting to know that we live in a place where the kids can play outside without me having to worry.  JUST KIDDING!  I am constantly checking on them/stalking them to make sure no weird pervs in the area are trying to lure them away.  Same goes for the park, beach, etc.  Ugh.  Scary stuff.
7. JELLYFISH, SHARKS & SEA CREATURES
   Is it true that if someone gets stung by a jellyfish, urine is supposed to stop the sting?  I have heard that in the past and honestly I hope that I never need to find out.  I am one of those “only go up to my waist” ocean “swimmers.”  Ocean things freak me out.  Except in Negril.  Those creatures don’t seem as harsh as the ones at the Jersey Shore.
8. POLLEN
   FU, pollen!  My kid is a walking sneezing machine and you seem to NEVER GO AWAY.
9. “MOM, I’M BORED”
   Ahhh, the dreaded phrase.  When the kids say they have NOTHING to do and they have iPads, toys, books and games…yet they want to do something that is not in the cards that day.  IT NEVER ENDS.
10. SUMMER READING
    My son will only be in second grade, so his summer reading list is not long.  But it’s a list.  And I need to make sure that he reads these damn books because he is seven and could care less about this task.  Just another thing to worry about.
11. MOSQUITOES
    I.  AM.  SO.  OVER.  THESE.  BUGS.  I get bit ALL OF the time.  Nasty welts.  My kids do too.  I am constantly looking for something to spray or apply before going outdoors.  These bites are brutal.
12. TRAMPOLINES
    If anyone is gonna get hurt on one of these things, it will be my kids.  They are so accident prone.  Every time my children get on a trampoline, I stress the eff out until they are safely on the ground.  YES- I know!  I am a freak!