Target. I don’t even have to explain what this store means to most of us. You know. There is nothing like being kid-free & wandering the aisles (Starbucks in hand of course), taking time to smell each candle and look at all of the new Etsy nail polish names. That time is precious. Just thinking about it makes me feel at peace. Sigh.
Too bad that dream scenario is a rare one in my world. Let’s get real. Target trips often involve my whiny, wandering children. MOM CAN I GET A TOY? MOM I WANT. MOM I NEED. MOMMMMM. I am constantly telling one of them to stop touching something, stop running, stop licking the cart. It is exhausting.
Tonight was an epic Target-with-kids night. Hubs was in class and I needed to pick up a few things, so I decided to suck it up and take the kids. In my head, this trip to heaven on earth was going to be pain-free. We would quickly get in and out- no issues. For some reason, every time we go there I tell myself it is going to be a success. THEY WILL BEHAVE, I tell myself. I am an idiot.
The mom clothes section did not even get my attention tonight because I was heading straight to the books to get my daughter’s classmate a birthday present. Being the push-over that I am, my son got a book out of it…about Physics. He REALLY needed it so I gave in {insert eye roll emoji here} because I have no backbone. Next stop, the Christmas ornaments. I found the CUTEST whiskey bottle ornament for my husband, the whiskey lover. Put it in the cart. Told my dear daughter not to touch it. 3 minutes later I heard something shatter and she immediately started crying. For the most part, I kept my cool and went back to see if there was another one. NOPE, that was the last one. No whiskey bottle ornament for his stocking.
Next, the baking aisle. Because, for some reason, I decided that I am going to bake cookies tomorrow night (homemade) for the first time in my 37 years of living. More to follow on that. Daughter starts whining that she wants “those big marshmallows” and when I tell her we have marshmallows at home, she is not happy with the answer. WAHHHH! I am SUCH a MEAN MOM.
To top off the night (other shit happened that involved whining and tears but I really am embarrassed to list every single incident), the lady ringing up our stuff was sooo slow. Like, we were getting checked out for at least ten minutes, I am not exaggerating. This is not fun with the kiddies. At one point I glanced over and saw the fournager laying on the floor, flipping through a magazine. I didn’t even yell at her, and had a feeling she was going to learn her lesson by getting run over by a cart. It didn’t happen.
After paying, FINALLY, I gathered the bags and walked to the car. Got the kids all strapped in (the task is just tedious at this point) and headed to Chik-fil-a because not one bone in my body wanted to cook tonight. And I wanted Chik-fil-a. The drive-thru line was long AF but there was no way I was getting out of the car and going inside- it looked like a zoo in there. While the kids were voicing their opinions on how slow the line was moving, I was looking at the bags and thought SHIT. We do not have the pajamas, letter board, birthday books, gift bags…. so I called the store to find my missing items.
After explaining to the lady that I was missing a bag, or bags, she kindly told me that someone would have my bag at customer service if I wanted to go back and claim it. UMMMM, ABSOLUTELY NOT. In my firm, but nice voice, I let her know that I will pull up to the side of the store and someone can bring the bag out to me. She agreed. At this point I was fuming.
We finally got our nuggets and fries and headed back to the store, where a high school aged girl was waiting for us, bag in hand. We got the goods. If I would have gotten home and realized I was missing the bag, I don’t know how I would have reacted. It would not have been pretty. So, I am sitting here typing (wine in hand), telling myself that the next time I go to Target I will be sans kids…which we ALL know isn’t true. A trip to Target with kids makes us stronger, right?
Leave a Reply